The dreams that I see beyond,
Are alive within me,
The words I put across,
Are silent within me.
I once saw a homely wreck,
Put a noose across my neck
It was not my fault I felt at home,
That my lungs breathed, my eyes shone
For those few moments everything was fine,
Till I discovered, t'was all one big lie.
The dreams that I see beyond,
Are alive within me.
The words I put across,
Become silent within me.
I crave to start a new story of my own,
Now that my old story stands unwoven.
Beautiful it was, while we all lived it,
Sinners we were, couldn't appreciate it.
The true few stand martyred,
The rest alive, 6 feet beneath the earth.
The dreams that I see beyond,
Are alive within me.
The words I put across,
Stay silent within me.
Happy were we in each other's misery,
Each day controversy for company.
We all had come as kings,
Each's reputation now a mince.
How we let ourselves down,
No Scepter in hand now, not even a crown.
The dreams that I see beyond,
Are alive within me.
The words I put across,
Remain silent within me.
Its time we returned where we came from,
Carrying empty hearts & moral problems.
The hopes and dreams I had brought with me,
Lie in the gutters of this fine city.
This was an episode quite excruciatingly messy,
Left us all with the sour aftertaste of pussy.
The dreams that I see beyond,
Are alive within me.
The words I put across,
Die silent within me.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Falsities of Shame
I love losing. Being a loser has far more fringe benefits than you would imagine. Call me sour grapes but winning seldom has its own rewards, if any, and if they do they're definitely not worth what you lost to win. Losing gives you much more than what winning takes away from you. Winning snatches humility away,takes truthfulness away, because of the need to prove yourself every time, to keep the expectations up, you lie. Winning takes away true friends by giving a whole load of falsies. Winning surrounds you with jealousy.
And losing? It gives you humility, keeps you grounded. Lets you know who your true friends are, Losing lets you be honest, So what I sucked?! Nobody's really that jealous of a loser. Jealousy usually brings in a lot of aggravation which you don’t need.
Losing lets you live for yourself rather than for others. It gives you a chance to live up to your own expectations for once as people tend to stop having expectations once you have failed. You are redeemed and given a chance to pursue what you want without the falsities of shame. Sure shame comes in at the very beginning but it’s a lot like when you stub your toe with the awkwardly placed dressing table in your bedroom, the pain comes hard and fast, but when you just stand on one leg and press your toe down on the other for a few seconds, the pain goes away. Similarly the shame goes away after the initial self-pity phases.
Losing and shame are constantly related by other people rather than yourselves. Its an unwritten and sometimes a written code that if you lose you've got to be ashamed. That’s the accepted behavioral reaction, any other form of response is unacceptable to society. Lets face it. We love our losers. They are a constant source of amusement. Our winners are always in interim. You win one, then someone wins another and you are forgotten. But losing gives you an irreplaceable place in history. Once a loser, always is. No matter how badly the other guy fucked up. Be sure people aren't going to forget where you did.
We keep losing to life, time, opportunities, people, each gives you a valuable lesson . The difference between losing and winning is the same as eating in a Chinese restaurant and an Indian one. In both you have a hearty meal but in the Chinese restaurant you get a fortune cookie with some wisdom on it, and in the Indian one you get a tissue full of Saunf which you'll be needing to digest that ego. The fact that you’re a loser always seems to bother other people than yourself. Its like they are ashamed to be around you but not against you. One loser can successfully unite 50 people more than a winner can irrespective of their differences in the process of ridiculing him.
Like always the choice is yours. Whether you want to dine in a Chinese restaurant or an Indian one its important that you satiate your hunger for life, If the Noodles do it for you well and good but if its Dal makhani you crave for, your going to have a helluva time digesting it.
And losing? It gives you humility, keeps you grounded. Lets you know who your true friends are, Losing lets you be honest, So what I sucked?! Nobody's really that jealous of a loser. Jealousy usually brings in a lot of aggravation which you don’t need.
Losing lets you live for yourself rather than for others. It gives you a chance to live up to your own expectations for once as people tend to stop having expectations once you have failed. You are redeemed and given a chance to pursue what you want without the falsities of shame. Sure shame comes in at the very beginning but it’s a lot like when you stub your toe with the awkwardly placed dressing table in your bedroom, the pain comes hard and fast, but when you just stand on one leg and press your toe down on the other for a few seconds, the pain goes away. Similarly the shame goes away after the initial self-pity phases.
Losing and shame are constantly related by other people rather than yourselves. Its an unwritten and sometimes a written code that if you lose you've got to be ashamed. That’s the accepted behavioral reaction, any other form of response is unacceptable to society. Lets face it. We love our losers. They are a constant source of amusement. Our winners are always in interim. You win one, then someone wins another and you are forgotten. But losing gives you an irreplaceable place in history. Once a loser, always is. No matter how badly the other guy fucked up. Be sure people aren't going to forget where you did.
We keep losing to life, time, opportunities, people, each gives you a valuable lesson . The difference between losing and winning is the same as eating in a Chinese restaurant and an Indian one. In both you have a hearty meal but in the Chinese restaurant you get a fortune cookie with some wisdom on it, and in the Indian one you get a tissue full of Saunf which you'll be needing to digest that ego. The fact that you’re a loser always seems to bother other people than yourself. Its like they are ashamed to be around you but not against you. One loser can successfully unite 50 people more than a winner can irrespective of their differences in the process of ridiculing him.
Like always the choice is yours. Whether you want to dine in a Chinese restaurant or an Indian one its important that you satiate your hunger for life, If the Noodles do it for you well and good but if its Dal makhani you crave for, your going to have a helluva time digesting it.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Playground Tete a Tete
As time flies, they say you keep growing as a person. All horse crap. We all know of the pristine pure beings we were in that playground. Of how spite would take on the form of your knuckle exploring the pimples of Raju's soft fleshy face. Curiosity would take the form of looking up Teena's skirt as she climbed the slide & Elation was what would come when everyone could successfully ditch pile-on Puppy. Joy was picking on tiny Akhil. Happiness would be sitting on the pavement with a bunch of your friends eating cheap ice cream. Gratitude would be getting that return gift on that rich kid's birthday. Emotions were simple as they are today. It’s the forms that they take that have changed so drastically. Instead of growing as persons, We all spiral into decadence. Pudgy Raju's knuckles suddenly decide they have to do some exploring of their own and he soon becomes the gold chain laden, heavily mustached, cheek polisher of the area, Now you have to make an appointment to meet Puppy. Tiny Akhil isn't that tiny anymore, worse he trains his kids to beat up yours in school. And Teena? Now you have to own a Pulsar or a Ford Ikon to do the same thing you used to do for free.
I mean there is not much you can do except complain about it. Every age has its own memories and mostly we end up looking forward for the past . I haven't possibly heard anyone say "Boy, Cant wait till am Sixty, Am going to rock the old age home." but you do hear the occasional geezer wheezing about the time "I was twenty two I used to date 3 chicks and could stand after twelve beers.". Childhood is the only time you do not or cannot look for the past for you have none and can only look forward to the future.
People tend to associate the fact that if you grow up with someone you know that person through and through. All Bull. Just because you grew up with a person doesn't mean you know that person but you can claim you knew them before they became assholes.
As growing up is a continuous process of degeneration, it’s a very destructive process. It starts putting an end to all the qualities that made childhood special. Imagination becomes non-existent, there is a sudden need to be extremely conscious of reality. Belief in morals you used to swear by becomes laughable, even Captain Planet becomes lame.
Old fears give way to new ones, your suddenly not afraid of that "Yuckoo" character from Chandrakanta, Its your impending divorce that features quite prominently in your nightmares now.
Its not as bad as you're thinking you know. We do have a very simple way of keeping the pieces together. Keep some connection with your childhood. No I don't mean look at your pictures or talk about the time when you ran naked across the street. You don’t even have to call those whom you grew up with. Just take something you used to like doing when you were a kid, keep doing it. It could be anything. If you liked to draw, keep drawing. If you liked to key other people's cars, just make sure they don’t have a good security system. I used to like standing by the slide. So Yes I am still trying to buy that pulsar.
I mean there is not much you can do except complain about it. Every age has its own memories and mostly we end up looking forward for the past . I haven't possibly heard anyone say "Boy, Cant wait till am Sixty, Am going to rock the old age home." but you do hear the occasional geezer wheezing about the time "I was twenty two I used to date 3 chicks and could stand after twelve beers.". Childhood is the only time you do not or cannot look for the past for you have none and can only look forward to the future.
People tend to associate the fact that if you grow up with someone you know that person through and through. All Bull. Just because you grew up with a person doesn't mean you know that person but you can claim you knew them before they became assholes.
As growing up is a continuous process of degeneration, it’s a very destructive process. It starts putting an end to all the qualities that made childhood special. Imagination becomes non-existent, there is a sudden need to be extremely conscious of reality. Belief in morals you used to swear by becomes laughable, even Captain Planet becomes lame.
Old fears give way to new ones, your suddenly not afraid of that "Yuckoo" character from Chandrakanta, Its your impending divorce that features quite prominently in your nightmares now.
Its not as bad as you're thinking you know. We do have a very simple way of keeping the pieces together. Keep some connection with your childhood. No I don't mean look at your pictures or talk about the time when you ran naked across the street. You don’t even have to call those whom you grew up with. Just take something you used to like doing when you were a kid, keep doing it. It could be anything. If you liked to draw, keep drawing. If you liked to key other people's cars, just make sure they don’t have a good security system. I used to like standing by the slide. So Yes I am still trying to buy that pulsar.
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